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Consider also the evolving perspective of the potential husband. And, as I was writing the reply, above, those thoughts went through my head. All I can think about is the fact that his schedule means that I will have to be the one to shoulder all the parenting and household responsibilities. If you don't want your "golden ticket" of the good life, then give me your golden ticket. I feel like the person who is giving our relationship strength, and the one who will keep our family going in the right direction in the future, as well. He may never come out and say it, but if you mention marriage outside of the church and he's OK with it, you have a slight chance of being happily married to her and not being mormon. They want a man who has navigated the stormy seas of the world, who has just a little bit of history, and has overcome the degenerate worldly culture, a man who has discovered for himself where peace and happiness lie. If you remain active, Church service is very demanding of our lives в not a Sunday thing. Wow, every word resonates. I married a person, not a religion.