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Apparently, he had sent it to me and Noah. Instead, I saw Andrew jerking off his erect penis, framed by a promotional filter for one of the Paranormal Activity movies. Aesthetically, it resembled any other dick pic I had ever received: slightly grainy and poorly lit, as if Calvin Klein had art-directed it back in the s. Yet while most dick pics I had received were either a prelude to or an invitation for sex, that was not the case in this instance: I am straight and married, as was Andrew though his relationship was open , while Noah is gay and has a boyfriend. As Andrew later clarified to me, this was precisely the type of honest reaction he had hoped to elicit from Noah. He had sent it to him as an invitation for an appraisal of sorts, as if his dick were a vase on Antiques Roadshow. Additionally — and this was the part that really blew my mind — he had sent another dick pic to Noah afterward, who had subsequently critiqued the size, shape, color, and texture.
There were a lot of Elvis songs. I also made out with a bisexual guy at a swinger party. My wife and some other women said it would be hot. That was less gay than the naked Karaoke. I was very drunk. No homo. Both at Burning Man. It was in high school. It was a sweltering summer night, so my friend and I were in just our boxers, hanging out in his back house.